Signal failure

The years have passed and the disease has progressed and i am still stupidly fooling myself as to the outcome of my life. It seemed so easy in my cloud of ignorant angst, when the day came there wouldn't be anything of worth to lose.
Now with the sound of warning bells somewhat muted & an unnatural anxiety free life in place, i am still tangled in this wasteland.
I seriously question how i would survive if this blanket was removed. I would twist and cower as i once did, back into something i once was; only before there was a flicker of a dimly lit shelter for me to seek solace.
This time i lack the ignorance and naivety that saved me.
I write this void of a definitive fear, although the days have begun to close in and this serves as a counter for the raking of leaves that will bring the star into darkness.