Tonight,
And i cried, but slowly. Like i had forgotten how to cry or something. It felt alien.
And i cried, but silently. I didn't have the energy to make my distress known.
Maybe i was under the illusion that if i made no sound then i wasn't really crying? Like a tree that falls but no-one sees it, did it really fall without the validation of observation?
Did i really fall?
Drag myself around, grasping for a hand.
Lost times, feel heavy on my heart.
Like the game of dominoes i would share with you, a bad day always blunders into the rest of my emotions and once again your memory haunts me.
Happy times, but tonight all i can feel is how much i miss you.
I miss your beautiful face, i miss how you was the one person in the world that i felt truly cared for me. Its been 11 years since you have gone but i remember you like it was yesterday.
If you are watching me are you proud of me? I've done bad things and i'm selfish and i let people down. I let myself down. Have i let you down?
I look to the sky but its too far away for me to reach. I feel insignificant.
My tears soak my heart. I wish you were here. I love you.
All i can do is strive to make you proud, i hope it will be enough.
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1 comment:
just by talking to you on here, i can tell that anyone who knows you are proud of you. you ae funny, caring, kind and some what weird burnley bird.
sometimes it is good to cry, to let that emotion out. i sometimes cry but when i do i find myself sat in the corner of my room on the floor crying like the world has ended and i cant gain the breath to stop myself. thats when it hurts my heart the most. thats when i truly know that i am sad, unhappy and basically not what i want to be.
i have not left, i have had things going on and i havnt been around but i thank you for looking and noticing that i was gone. it meant a lot hun. i and the others have not changed their names. i just think things are going on in life at the moment, not sure what tho. i will try harder for you tho.
you rock my socks ju and you rock other peoples socks to. never forget you are someone that i enjoy talking to and i class you as a friend. when i return we are so going out and painting the town red(what other colour would there be hahahahaha)
take care hun
xx
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